You and your man (or woman) have been going steady for a solid 3 months and you are ready to make it online official. Or you may have been going steady longer and you’re wondering why he has yet to upload a photo of the two of you to his social media. Is he/she cheating? Are you the other woman/man? We’re living in the digital ages where social media likes mean acceptance, so let’s decode why your partner may not be posting you.
For starters if your partner is anything like me, then they believe in privacy when it comes to relationships. The least you say the less chance it has to be interfered with from the “outside world”. I’ve noticed in many (not all) of my relationships, that most problems stem from outside influences, so the least you say the better. I’m also not fond of posting my S/O on my social media if we have not been dating at least a year, because how embarrassing is it for people to go up for you and your new boo, only for a fight to happen and you go through and delete every trace of their existence in your life. Save the drama, boo.
Trust me we’ve all been there, but maybe your mate isn’t posting you for other reasons.
1. You are the other woman/man
Oh no! You may be the dreaded side piece, and if you are, well.. What you want to do with that is up to you. I would be remiss if I lied and told you I’ve never been a side piece. While at the time I didn’t know, by the time I found out it was too late; my feelings were attached and I truly didn’t mind not having to commit 100% of my time or self to anyone.
2. He/She is hiding you from their Exes
If they are anything like me, they have stalked their exes page and they are trying to prevent the argument. At times, women can be catty and petty. Sometimes it’s not even worth it. So he chooses to instead of flaunting you around on social media for your picture to be screenshot and shared in GroupMe groups and dogged out, to just show you his affection in person.
3. He doesn’t want his male friends to follow you online or “check you out”
Listen, I’ve seen it happen before. You’re scrolling through social media and one of your homeboys tags his girl. Most guys click her page, check out the body, see if she’s a “catch” and may even deem you smash worthy. While men like for you to be gawked at by people who don’t have a chance, we live in a time where everyone’s DMs can be slid in.. Married, single, or taken.
4. They are a private person
Once a guy taught me.. Some things are just so much more thrilling when it’s a secret. Sure you want everyone to know how in love you are, and how fine your new bae is.. but nothing turns me on to someone more than the mystery behind them. Just imagine everyone thinking you’re single because you never post about your boo.. then you show up to an affair and people gawk at how amazing it is that you have not only someone, but someone brag worthy that you kept a secret.
5. It’s their page, they can do what they want!
At the end of the day you can’t force anyone to curate their online life and include you in it. If your relationship is good then you should accept that! Don’t go stirring up trouble because everyone is making it “look good” on social media. Choose your battles wisely.
Tell me about a time your S/O didn’t post you on social media. How did you deal with it?