3 Things I learned while grieving the death of a parent

Can I keep it real for a second?

While I was on hiatus, I discovered a few things about myself. Few know, but it is the “mourning season” of when my mother passed away, with her birthday being May 9th and her passing being June 7th. Typically during this time, I take time to myself to reflect and cope with the memories of her final days.

When she passed, as would anyone, I was traumatized, but my mind processed her passing differently than my siblings. I became a recluse, and since she was a single parent and I was 19, I was officially “on my own.”

Being independent from 19 to my current age, 26, I can admit I have become independent to a fault. 

It’s been almost seven years, and I still can remember each moment, as if at that moment, I was stuck in time. I was 19, entering my sophomore year of college and I was extremely naive.

Death had touched me within life but never so closely, so personal and so swiftly. For years, I thought I was living in a trance.

How could someone so close, so important, and so young, die? 

I became fearful and restricting of everything in life until I realized, 

I was terrified to make friends, get close, or meet new people because I was convinced as soon as I got close to them, they would die. Throughout that grief period and more, I’ve been able to grow, reflecting  on some of the most important lessons I’ve learned thus far in life.

 

  1. Death is inevitable

    Regardless of any anxieties or how morbid it may be, the only thing we are promised in life, is death. No matter how close, or distant you get to/from people.. they’re going to die. So it’s better to overcome your fear and cherish the moments and time you have with them, as time is a luxury you can’t get back.

  2. You will never experience life, if you allow life’s cards to fold you

    Each person is “dealt life’s hand”. Does anyone ever stop and truly wonder why people are so inspired by motivational speakers and people who overcome tragedy? Everyone you see isn’t walking a road of glitter, the difference is their perception of the hand they were dealt. If you simply wake up and try your best every day, God will show up and meet you with the rest. Day in and day out life is a test, and while everyone won’t perform at 100%; it’s important to at least perform. Greatness is a choice, it’s not your destiny.

  3. Build a tribe of God fearing people who can support you when you can’t support yourself

There were plenty of times throughout my grief where I truly couldn’t imagine going forward any longer. The mere thought of spending a day, let alone years without such an important piece of my life was unimaginable. Without the assistance of a loving and faithful support system, I can’t say that I would still be here today. It’s important to remember that although we all came into this world alone, the time we spend as a vessel in this dimension is sweeter when it’s shared with others. Surrounding yourself with like-minded and supportive individuals who not only want to see you survive, but excel is important.

While life won’t stop throwing you curve balls despite your grief, it is important to recognize the rainbow in the storm.

 

 

 

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5 Comments

  • Reply
    Sharon
    June 2, 2016 at 12:38 pm

    Thanks for sharing. This is very touching and true. If nothing else, it should inspire anyone who reads this to live on purpose with purpose!

    • Reply
      Alicia Renee
      June 2, 2016 at 6:25 pm

      Thanks for reading, Sharon! I totally agree, a lot of people are just ‘living’ but they aren’t really “living”.

  • Reply
    Robin
    June 2, 2016 at 7:28 pm

    This is really touching. Thank you for sharing. I’ll be back for more!

    • Reply
      Alicia Renee
      June 3, 2016 at 7:26 am

      Thanks for reading, Robin!

  • Reply
    Ashley
    July 25, 2016 at 10:57 am

    <3

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