Self Care

You need to know how to find happiness in bad times

 

It’s no secret that therapy is one of the biggest ways I manage my bipolar disorder. (*cliff note: I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in 2007 – and  I’ve been successfully & unsuccessfully riding this wave since)

I meet with Lori weekly, and to say that I recommend EVERYONE to see a psychotherapist, is an understatement.

You never really realize, what you go through on a weekly basis until you have the time to literally DUMP your life moments, ideas, thoughts, emotions.. everything, out to a unbiased person.

Sure, friends are great to unwind with, but they will always tell you in a sense, what you want to hear.

Not Lori.

For weeks, I dreaded going home for the holidays.

Why?

Because it’s a constant reminder of the chaos that I lived in for years, and here I’ve created the perfect level of peace, serenity, and happiness.

Going home for the holidays was literally like leaving a spa and running back to chaos, only to return to the serenity and be knocked off my game while trying to readjust to the peace.

This week, I’m assignedthe task to find 3 photos of myself from the past year where I felt the happiest and to write a letter to the girl in that picture. I won’t share all 3, but I will share one, and I encourage you to try this exercise as well.

Dear Alicia Renee,

Wow, is all I can say to you. You did it. You really did it. Over two years ago you told yourself that you were tired of the mundane, over the responsibilities of others you took on, and tired of not being your best self. You focused, you grinded, you leaped, you hustled, and you stuck it out. I guess that’s why you coined yourself Trap Lo? You really became intentional about the things you wanted for yourself and your life then you went after each and every thing.  I must say that happiness looks AMAZING on you. Sure, when you left Cincy you had just shed all that weight because you were trying to show your ex exactly what he had lost and would be missing, and you came to Georgia and gained all that weight back. But it’s okay, because the slim down glow will be real, and the boyz will be the maddest once more..

I’m so incredibly happy that you’re in the right headspace to release Letters to Heaven. I know the journey to this wasn’t easy. Sharing with the world your suicide attempts, the abortion, the deceitful activity and the grudges you held, along with the regrets. And I know how anxious you were to release it last year but God makes no mistakes when He says it’s time, it’ll be time.

Just know, this year is it. You’ve blossomed into the flower you never thought you could be and I adore you for it. I can’t imagine what your glow will look like when you really start allowing God to use you as He intended, because up to now it’s been light work. But I know you have it in you, to keep this happiness alive, and to be all the things you set out to be.

No matter how tough things may be, I want you to remember that right is right and wrong is wrong. You won’t always be right, and that’s okay. You won’t always know everything, and that’s fine too. Just keep learning.

Sometimes you’ll feel lonely and alone, but remember.. someone, somewhere out there.. is reading everything you write, listening to every podcast you make, watching every move you make and cheering and praising for all your accomplishments. Don’t look back.. keep shining.

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